Finding Triumph in the Midst of Tragedy: Missy's Story

Guest Post by Missy of Homeschooling Jungle

When my married man and I got married in early 2005, we knew that we wanted to start a family. We also knew that information technology would take a small-scale act of God for it to happen. After seeing a doc, I was diagnosed with PCOS, or polycystic ovarian syndrome. 8 months later (and 1 out of state move, i vi month deployment, and 3 new doctors), I was finally under the care and treatment of an infertility doctor.

It took a year to go pregnant, only to lose that infant. Chances are her/his heart never started beating. After that it took another 2 rounds and about 6 more than months to get preganant once again. At showtime, I was so nervous that I would loose this infant too. Subsequently 12 weeks I was assured that baby had a 90% chance of making it to nascency. I began to relax a little merely was all the same terribly worried that something might happen. Afterwards xx weeks, the pct rose again to 95%, which helped at-home my nerves. Once I made it past 38 weeks, I began to get excited and at 40 weeks, the anxiety starting creeping back in.

At my 40 week date I found out that after moving and changing doctors at 25 weeks they had decided that I was not as far forth equally I was told and had changed my due date. For this reason, they were non going to induce me for another week and a half. I was furious and let them know that I was going to exist induced by the 28^thursday of February. Not only was I anxious virtually nonetheless existence pregnant but hubby was scheduled to deploy yet again only two weeks later. Afterward a lot of tense chat with the midwife, she agreed to schedule an induction but I was told that I all the same would take to phone call that night to detect out if I could go in. That morn I spent at the infirmary getting an NST, non-stress test, and an ultrasound done to check that the baby was yet doing fine. Despite the NST tech having to buzz baby almost every v minutes she decided that everything was fine and sent me on my fashion. The ultrasound tech besides reported everything to be fine even though he noticed that the cord was around infant'southward neck. We were told it was normal and they see it all the time.

That night I called and was told they didn't have plenty room for me, and then we went to eat. While we were eating, I was having contractions. I also noticed the baby wasn't moving around, only forced myself to make up one's mind that information technology was only because I was contracting.

The next morning I was told to call and find out if I could go in…so told to recall again at 4pm. Most 2pm that day I realized I had not felt baby move at all that day. I chosen and told them and was told to come in. I knew when we got at that place that something was wrong. When the doctor came in with the ultrasound auto and nosotros couldn't meet any motility I knew what was going on. The doc turned and looked at me and simply flatly said that the baby had died. He did non say sorry, he did not look like it even mattered to him. The words rang in my caput like a clanging gong.

I very speedily got aroused, angry at the midwives for not listening to me, at the staff for not allowing me to come up in the night earlier, at myself for not listening to my instincts. Information technology wasn't until I got home and everyone left that I began to question God. I was angry at him for allowing this to happen. Hubby was quick to tell me that it was Satan that took our precious baby. To this statement I rebuked with "Satan doesn't take any power that God doesn't Permit him to have, thus God Immune this to happen." To that my husband had no reply.

I remember one night laying on the couch, looking at all my crosses and feeling like fierce them off the wall and smashing each and everyone of them to little bitty pieces. After all that, is what God had immune to happen to my heart and my spirit correct?

My husband went on his deployment and I was staying with my parents(we didn't feel information technology was a practiced idea for me to stay alone in a state where I had no support organization), when I really began to recollect things through. The i statemnet that kept coming back to me came from someone who is now a VERY good friend of mine. She told me that she didn't know why this had happened and had searched everything she knew virtually God. The 1 thing that kept getting her is that the Bible says that for everything there is a reason and everything happens for a Expert reason. So maybe God allowed him to be taken from united states of america to shelter us from a far greater pain.

As I let that soak into my head I began thinking, maybe, just maybe God plans to employ me and my experience for His adept. Whatever the case, I decided from then on that I was going to brand something good out of what had happened. (I have still to observe a fashion to do that, but still have adamant to do it.)

Afterward 6 months, I moved back with married man, into a new place and nosotros began putting our lives back together. Within two months of existence together I found out I was pregnant yet once again, only to lose another infant at 8 weeks. So one year after we lost Angel male child, I found out I was pregnant with Monkey. I literally found out Monkey was in that location the calendar week of Affections boy's birthday.

After a very long, very stressful pregnancy with MUCH medical surveillance, I was hospitalized at 36 weeks with preeclampsia and was told the following week I would be induced. This came as a great relief to me as it insured that I was already in the infirmary and they would non be able to tell me that I could not be induced the twenty-four hours I had been given. It also allowed me and the staff to keep a watchful eye on Monkey'south heartbeat.

When the day finally came, I constantly asked how Monkey'due south heartbeat was. Making sure to notice anything unusual. I didn't desire to go through all that again. 22 hours subsequently the beginning of the induction process, Monkey was out and very alert. Although it did take a lilliputian coaxing to get him to cry. At that moment, everything was correct in the world again.

Does Monkey have his blood brother's place in my center? Admittedly not! Is the hurting gone? NO! Just having Monkey has allowed me to focus my attention to doing all the things I could non do with Angel boy. Monkey does however, fill the void that was in my soul. While things are non perfect, monkey is our rainbow baby. God has blest me! I pray that this story volition be a blessing to someone else.

1 thing I forgot to mention, is that God used many ways to talk to me through my hurting. He used friends, the bible, stories that I saw on boob tube,and read in books, aswell as songs I heard on the radio. One vocal in detail Really helped me through those times when I felt every bit though I could no longer trust in God, Casting Crowns' "Praise You in the Storm." It reminded me that God is in charge and knows things that we do not. Monkey was the rainbow after the storm.

Delight feel gratis to contact me if I tin pray for you, or if you have any questions or even if you  would like to see the video that I created in honor of Affections boy. Yous tin can observe me at  http://homeschoolingjungle.blogspot.com.

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Source: https://www.icanteachmychild.com/finding-triumph-in-the-midst-of-tragedy-missys-story/

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